we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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