I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
