I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
