At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
