I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
