I'm lost and stupid without you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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