I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
