do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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