never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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