Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
