p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
