What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
