i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
