I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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