He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
