i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
