note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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