You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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