Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
His nipple licking is glorious
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