sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
