Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
