it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ladies don't puke and tell
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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