Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
