I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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