I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We had sex on a dog bed..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
