I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
there is glitter all over my balls
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize