I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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