careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
