the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
