yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
