There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
