"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i think im in europe. pls send help
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