It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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