the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize