I skipped work to stalk him.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
