I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
