Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
