she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize