Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
