a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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