I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
