wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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