we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
