Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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