By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
