The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
