I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
