I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
