I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
