: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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