what day is it and did you see me today?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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