I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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