weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I intend to get homeless drunk
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
