I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
