fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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