dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize