is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
