Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Terrible idea I love it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
