he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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